"jesus christ that's a pretty face, the kind you'd find on someone that could save"

so i rode my bike into work today for the first time. i bought a road bike (a really sweet one -- giant OCR) off a really good friend of mine. actually, it was nate. and i'll give you the shout out because i know you're the only person who actually reads this crappy blog. dude, seriously. why the fuck are you reading this? anyway.


the ride is about 10 miles each way, and its certainly not flat. i was definitely more tired than i thought i would be, but that may have something to do with the fact that i was carrying a backpack with my clothes, laptop, and other stuff in it. heads up: don't carry a bunch of shit on your back when riding a long way in traffic and up hill.


so the two things i came to realize about riding a road bike to work. first, its tiring. it takes about 45 minutes each way, and i was exhausted by the time i got home. oh, and then i had to go to a 3 hour ultimate practice. wah, wah. this is me whining. go figure. that was fun. the OTHER thing i realized is that riding a road bike KILLS your asshole. even with padded biking shorts. yeah, it feels like my taint has been kicked by an army of alec baldwins wearing steal-toed boots. good lord.

but here's the thing: whats crappy is that im not getting to ride my bike nearly as much as i'd like to because of after-work commitments (basketball league, ultimate teams, ultimate practice, etc) and so i spent all this money to save gas and whatnots, but now i just drive all the time and could have used that money to pay for the car insurance bill i just recieved but can't afford to pay for. hmmm...

so, that sucks.

"if they don't put me away, well it'll be a miracle"

"careful now, you'll hurt yourself..."

so, here's the thing. i play a lot of sports. and yeah, im totally serious about ultimate (given). i train really hard, i practice, i do crazy shit to my body to make me faster/stronger/what-have-you. and, in turn, when im playing on the field i try to play really hard. that is, at the top level. however, when im playing a hat league, or a pickup game or something, i take it easy. i dont call fouls, i dont call travels or picks (unless theyre aggregious). because its pickup. because it doesn't matter.

i would assume that this attitude transfers to other sports too. right? so, like, if you were playing 3 on 3 pickup basketball down at the park or gym, you would play less seriously than if you were playing a 5 on 5 league game that you paid for or whatever. so, what i cant fucking stand is when you're playing 3 on 3 pickup (pickup means its not a 3 on 3 tournament, just to make myself uber-clear), and someone on the other team is WAY TOO serious about the goddamn game. its just a game, dude. calm the fuck down. you dont need to scream "FUCK" every time you miss a rebound. you don't need to tell your teammates that they need to "step up the fucking D and get in their faces" when my team makes a shot. you don't need to punt the ball to the other wall in the gym when you lose the ball out of bounds. for god's sake, stop taking steroids and calm yourself down.

so this totally happened to me tonight. and you know what? i get playing hard. and i get being physical and all that. and if we're playing a game that matters, i get being pumped up and using that to up your game. but for the sanctity of the sweet virgin baby jesus, you don't need to rip my shoulder out of its socket or scream at your teammates or punch the wall or any of these things. its pickup. its 3 on 3. maybe you have trained 6 months just for this impromptu game, and if thats the case then i feel sorry for you and your pathetic life. however, im going to assume that this isn't the case, and you just need to put the needle down and take a nyquil or something.

so yeah. calm it down douchebag mcdouchington. so we can all walk away from the game.

"careful now, you'll hurt someone else."

lets do this thing?

its been a year and a half since i last posted on this blog. in fact, i dont expect anyone to read this. im not posting this anywhere. well, that may not be true. if i can start posting on a regular basis, i may put up a link on a instant messaging profile or something. yeah, alright. i'll probably do that. but only if i can actually get to this website and post some shit thats worth reading. which, by the way, this doesnt qualify.

so, you know what's hilarious? those old spice commercials with bruce campbell aka ash from army of darkness. that guy is fucking awesome. im glad to see he's getting a little work besides crappy c and d movies and/or tv shows. and speaking of crappy tv shows, what in god's good name is going on with 24 this season? dude, this season sucks assholes. besides the fact that this season had the greatest episode in all of 24 history (the one where jack kills all the terrorists, snags all the atomic bombs, and then finds out audrey is alive), this season has been a shit-show from the beginning. i mean, every single episode has mostly if not completely sucked. AND to make it worse, ive seen all of these episodes before. whats that? did i get an advanced copy of this season? well, yeah, kinda. its called all the seasons before this one. because all of these dumbass episodes are almost identical to episodes in previous seasons. uh, heads up 24. maybe hire some new writers. first thing to look for is writers who don't think "drama" is 'lets create some really uninteresting problem, throw in some relationship tension between 2 not-so-important actors, and then have jack beat up everyone with guns and shoot all the terrorists'. i think we've all seen that one before.

also, here's another clue to the "please-let-them-be-new" 24 writers: how the fuck can everyone and their mom infiltrate CTU?!? seriously. isn't this place supposed to be the counter-terrorist unit? shouldn't they, i dont know, make shit so that people can't break in through the iron grate in the basement? why do they even have a basement? and even if they did, why would there be a grate into underground tunnels where people can come up from and take over CTU? what is this? amateur hour? its like the terrorists could break in, have a bake sale, slap some titties around, and then take over CTU. this is ridiculous.

also, what happened to "kumar" aka "taj mahal badlamabad" aka the indian kid from the beginning. seriously, give him some funny lines and that'll class this bullshit up. there are tons of asians in this "day 6". bring in harold and let hilarity ensue. sure, thats not what 24 is all about, but it would be a hell of a lot more entertaining and rewarding than the crap they are currently scripting. its like "hey, lets kill off all the cool characters because we want to have an edge. oooohh. bet you didnt predict that, viewers. i bet your super entitilated and dramatized. oh, whats that? you like character "x"? well, he's going to get shot in the first episode. say what? character "y" is more interesting than the gay-ass kid they get to play jack's nephew? oh, well, they are going to get dropped off a building. or gassed to death. have fun, sucker... i mean, viewers."

so yeah, im done with 24. i'll give next season a chance, but they have 2 episodes to make shit right or its over. hear that? mcdone.

lets do this thing.