i'm starting a new virtual band. by "virtual" i mean that i am going to record all the weird shit that i can come up with, and then have mike "guitar god" flowers and nate "bass in your mother f**king face" cameron contribute their musical genious and ideas to these songs. and yes, nate's nickname really has "f**king" in it. because we all know im not afraid to write "fucking". but that's his nickname. gotta stick with the official "*" because i don't want to get sued by his publisher or agent or something. fucking bastards. also, when i said "weird shit" above, what i meant was i could throw layers upon layers of stuff. goodness knows "weird" isn't the right adjective to describe the music that i write.
so the hardest part about this new virtual band is going to be using logic. because i think it'd be an understatement to say that its not-so-intuitive. i mean, i would assume that when person "a" sets up logic, they'll want to have the headphones be a monitor. but in order to make it that way, you have to go through 3 different screens to set UP the monitors, and even then they are extremely washed out. its like, are you serious? what time is it? thats right, amateur hour.
and then once you get all that up and running, you have to use multiple plug-ins just to make the mic sound decent (no hissing, good levels, etc). Now, this could totally be a product of the fact that I have a performing mic, and not a condenser mic, but I find that a little hard to believe.
so i guess all i need to do is open my schedule up enough so that i have some fucking time to record. i dont get home during the week until 9:30 or so every night. wah, wah. yeah, i get it. time to get to work. hopefully that means new songs will be up online once i learn how to mix... so, 9 months? a year? we'll see.
"it can make you face all your fears"
Friday, June 29, 2007
Friday, June 22, 2007
"i'm losing all my friends, i'm losing them to drinking and to driving..."
arun quit new noise.
well, i shouldn't say "quit". "taking the season off" is the correct term. however, it feels like he quit. and i think it feels this way because i know all the reasons behind his decision. which, lets be honest, i'd be a total douche if i were to write on here what his reasons where. and since i'm only 50-70% douche, you ain't gonna get those reasons from me. so if you'd like to know those, you should ask him.
however, knowing that there were more reasons to his decision than 'needing time off', i'll say that it boiled down to he wasn't having fun anymore. which is what tends to happen when you are trying to establish your team as a competitive entity. however, it doesn't necessarily have to become not fun. in fact, i'd venture to say that there is nowhere that stipulates that it should be a requirement of being a serious team that it can't be fun. i think a reason that teams become not fun when being serious is because either a lack of organization or identities get lost along the way. like, trying to be something you're not (and that means personally as well as organizationally).
so, what everyone has to remember (myself included) is that everyone on the team is an adult. we all make our own decisions. we all chose to forfeit health, money, time, weekends, etc to play on this team. and we all bust our ass (some more than others, but its pretty even across the board) to be the best we can. i get to the gym 5-7 times a week. this off-season i dropped 13 pounds (how, i have no fucking idea) and got down to 4% body fat (which im around 5-6% as you read this). that wasn't so i could fit into my bikini for the beach. although, lets be honest: i look unfuckingbelievable in the pink one. it was so i could be faster, fitter, leaner, healthier, and stronger for the ultimate season. and this is my choice. not everyone goes to these extremes for the sport, but i made the decision that to get me to be the best player i can, that was something i needed to focus on and do.
and it is very, very easy somewhere along that line to lose sight of the fact that this is supposed to be fun. and when its not fun, its really tough to admit to yourself that something you've spent so much time doing and putting effort into is not worth it anymore. and unfortunately, this happens.
and so what arun did is the mature and honest thing. which is something i totally couldn't do. there are times that i've been so frustrated with certain aspects of ultimate that i've wanted to quit. thought about it. talked about it. but i never could get myself to back away from the sport. now, don't get me wrong. i've never gotten to the point where i'm dying, yet i'm still playing. but i don't know if i'd ever be honest or realistic enough with myself to walk away when that time comes.
i guess we'll find out someday.
"i'm losing all my friends, but i've got them back."
well, i shouldn't say "quit". "taking the season off" is the correct term. however, it feels like he quit. and i think it feels this way because i know all the reasons behind his decision. which, lets be honest, i'd be a total douche if i were to write on here what his reasons where. and since i'm only 50-70% douche, you ain't gonna get those reasons from me. so if you'd like to know those, you should ask him.
however, knowing that there were more reasons to his decision than 'needing time off', i'll say that it boiled down to he wasn't having fun anymore. which is what tends to happen when you are trying to establish your team as a competitive entity. however, it doesn't necessarily have to become not fun. in fact, i'd venture to say that there is nowhere that stipulates that it should be a requirement of being a serious team that it can't be fun. i think a reason that teams become not fun when being serious is because either a lack of organization or identities get lost along the way. like, trying to be something you're not (and that means personally as well as organizationally).
so, what everyone has to remember (myself included) is that everyone on the team is an adult. we all make our own decisions. we all chose to forfeit health, money, time, weekends, etc to play on this team. and we all bust our ass (some more than others, but its pretty even across the board) to be the best we can. i get to the gym 5-7 times a week. this off-season i dropped 13 pounds (how, i have no fucking idea) and got down to 4% body fat (which im around 5-6% as you read this). that wasn't so i could fit into my bikini for the beach. although, lets be honest: i look unfuckingbelievable in the pink one. it was so i could be faster, fitter, leaner, healthier, and stronger for the ultimate season. and this is my choice. not everyone goes to these extremes for the sport, but i made the decision that to get me to be the best player i can, that was something i needed to focus on and do.
and it is very, very easy somewhere along that line to lose sight of the fact that this is supposed to be fun. and when its not fun, its really tough to admit to yourself that something you've spent so much time doing and putting effort into is not worth it anymore. and unfortunately, this happens.
and so what arun did is the mature and honest thing. which is something i totally couldn't do. there are times that i've been so frustrated with certain aspects of ultimate that i've wanted to quit. thought about it. talked about it. but i never could get myself to back away from the sport. now, don't get me wrong. i've never gotten to the point where i'm dying, yet i'm still playing. but i don't know if i'd ever be honest or realistic enough with myself to walk away when that time comes.
i guess we'll find out someday.
"i'm losing all my friends, but i've got them back."
"careful now, you'll hurt yourself..."
so, i want to move. no surprise there. also, no surprise that i started a paragraph (which is more like a stream of conciousness) with the word "so". that tends to happen a lot for me. want to know why? no? well, fuck you. then stop reading. dick. anyways, i think the reason is beacuse i think about things a lot before i say them. and then when i finally come out or write the thoughts down, i approach it with a "so here's what ive been thinking" attitude or a "so, this is what i've come up with". at least, that's how it sounds in my head. but it just falls out onto paper and/or html style sheets as "so". but anyways.
the deal with me wanting to move is that i'm not happy. not happy with boston. not happy with my job. not happy with myself. and i feel that moving is a good way to start over. its also a good way to incur a whole lotta debt. which seems to be about to happen to me, as money and my banking accounts don't seem to be getting along lately. crap.
but where to move to? somewhere close? somewhere where i know people, so as to not be all alone? somewhere where i know nobody so that i can "start a-fresh with nothing holding me down"? well, if i knew that answer i wouldn't be asking the nobody-who-reads-my-blog. damn. i can't do all the work around here.
so it seems to me the options are as follows (with reasons why and why not next to'ye olde pluses and minuses' as they were called back during the gold rush):
california: + beautiful weather, beautiful women, relaxed attitude, everyone tells me i'd fit in and/or look like i'm from there, great ultimate scene, great music scene
- expensive, far away from family/home, don't know anybody out there, i'd miss the fall weather
denver: + beautiful weather, close to the mountains, cheaper than boston, young crowd, pretty good ultimate scene, good music scene, outdoors stuff to do all the time
- kinda expensive, far away from family/home, dno't know anyone out there (although nate, you should come with), tough to get a job i kinda imagine
virginia: + warm weather, good ultimate scene, could buy a place with my little brother, i have friends from college in the area
- not as much of a eutopic destination as, say, CA or CO, humidity, don't have any connections to get a job, if i move south i'd much rather go to somewhere in NC
charlotte: + warm weather, decent ultimate scene, good music scene, have lots of college friends around, cheap cost of living, up-and-coming city
- humidity, tough to get a job down there, far from my family, not so sure i want to do NC again and would like to try some place new
toronto: + awesome city (or so i hear), cheaper than boston, potentional to have a good job, good ultimate scene, very euro
- far from home, don't know anyone up there, cold, no "music scene" to speak of
so yeah, who knows. who the hell knows. i guess the reason the top cities have more +'s and -'s would be that a) im getting tired of writing this post, and b) i know more/fantasize more about going to the first cities more. one things for sure though; my time in boston is coming to an end.
"careful now, you'll hurt someone else."
the deal with me wanting to move is that i'm not happy. not happy with boston. not happy with my job. not happy with myself. and i feel that moving is a good way to start over. its also a good way to incur a whole lotta debt. which seems to be about to happen to me, as money and my banking accounts don't seem to be getting along lately. crap.
but where to move to? somewhere close? somewhere where i know people, so as to not be all alone? somewhere where i know nobody so that i can "start a-fresh with nothing holding me down"? well, if i knew that answer i wouldn't be asking the nobody-who-reads-my-blog. damn. i can't do all the work around here.
so it seems to me the options are as follows (with reasons why and why not next to'ye olde pluses and minuses' as they were called back during the gold rush):
california: + beautiful weather, beautiful women, relaxed attitude, everyone tells me i'd fit in and/or look like i'm from there, great ultimate scene, great music scene
- expensive, far away from family/home, don't know anybody out there, i'd miss the fall weather
denver: + beautiful weather, close to the mountains, cheaper than boston, young crowd, pretty good ultimate scene, good music scene, outdoors stuff to do all the time
- kinda expensive, far away from family/home, dno't know anyone out there (although nate, you should come with), tough to get a job i kinda imagine
virginia: + warm weather, good ultimate scene, could buy a place with my little brother, i have friends from college in the area
- not as much of a eutopic destination as, say, CA or CO, humidity, don't have any connections to get a job, if i move south i'd much rather go to somewhere in NC
charlotte: + warm weather, decent ultimate scene, good music scene, have lots of college friends around, cheap cost of living, up-and-coming city
- humidity, tough to get a job down there, far from my family, not so sure i want to do NC again and would like to try some place new
toronto: + awesome city (or so i hear), cheaper than boston, potentional to have a good job, good ultimate scene, very euro
- far from home, don't know anyone up there, cold, no "music scene" to speak of
so yeah, who knows. who the hell knows. i guess the reason the top cities have more +'s and -'s would be that a) im getting tired of writing this post, and b) i know more/fantasize more about going to the first cities more. one things for sure though; my time in boston is coming to an end.
"careful now, you'll hurt someone else."
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