regionals next weekend. i have to let this quad or whatever it is heal. i can jog, but not sprint, change direction fast, and jumping is limited. goddamn it. can't work all season to be hurt for the final tournament of the season. or, if we can place top two, we head to nationals. which would be sick.
im pretty psyched about regionals. ive been busting my ass all season for this (hence the constant working out/practice, getting down to 4% body fat and staying at 4% for the past 5 months, so much frisbee it hurts, etc). our entire team has been busting their collective asses for this. we should be the 4 seed at regionals. which means a few things. one, it means we have a legitimate shot at being top 2 and making nationals. two, it means that we'll have a target on our backs. which will hopefully make us play up to our ability.
sectionals had us showing moments of brilliance, but not yet firing on all cylinders. i think we're all in the same frame of mind that we have to dig deeper than the other top teams to make a run, but its possible. always the underdogs, now there are some expectations for how we should perform.
so im just hoping to be able to play. i always do the whole "overtraining" thing where i push too hard, get hurt, and then need to heal. bullshit.
also, listen to "island" by 'the starting line'. amazing song.
"if you float away, if you float away"
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
"go out and get your own life, and live it your way..."
back! from the wedding!
so lets do the rundown of predictions. what an awesome weekend. it was a beautiful ceremony, scottie and kristin looked great, everything was amazing, and the open bar from 5 until 11:30 helped to fuel a whole lotta fun. lets re-cap:
prediction #1: not so good. travis didn't get really drunk. but i think he had a really good time. he, i, and flowers basically hung out the whole time. which included at 2:00am trip to the sketchiest Denny's I've ever seen in my life the first night. which included this security guard manning the "hostess" post, who had 2 lazy eyes, a limp in his walk, and sounded like he had no idea what "English" was. I'd say he was about 55 years old, nasty grey beard, weathered face, etc. basically a drug addict with a uniform. so yeah, that was awesome. but it was awesome to see travis, and i had a great time. just like old college days. i even tricked him into eating some scrapple sunday morning. i ordered it because i had never had it before, and took a bite. and flowers and t-nuts looked at me and were like "how is it", so i kinda smiled, nodded my head in approval, and was like "travis, you gotta get in on this." so he takes a bite and immediately his facial expression is one of "what the fuck?" and he goes "dude, this is horrible" and i said "i know. its the worst fucking shit i've ever had in my life." oh man, that was awesome.
prediction #2: this didn't really pan out either. nick didn't get super drunk (his girlfriend AND ex-girlfriend were there, which was amusing to watch), and he certainly didn't kiss any dudes that i saw. damn it. it was great to see nick though. still funny as hell, and still does the "giaimo shuffle" on the dance floor. good times.
prediction #3: so, this kinda happened. scottie didn't try to take any chair i was sitting in, but there was a LOT of talk about it from the ex-WOMB (wake frisbee) guys. so at the reception i went up and sat in his chair up on stage (i guess it was kind of like a throne). and then scott came over and was like "what the?" and we fake-wrestled for about half-a-second before he realized there was cake waiting for him at his seat. so then he took a bite of his cake, and i got my congratulatory high-fives and "that was hilarious" comments from all post-wake players. that is the stuff of legends.... or really lame incidents that happened during college of which i'm not too proud. although i guess looking back and laughing about a situation is better than looking back and being pissed and/or embarrassed. so i'll give me a 1/2 on this prediction
prediction #4: ok, so this prediction was the lay-up. kobe! anyone who knows siler KNEW he was going to get way too drunk. which culminated with him falling on the dance floor and spilling beer all over everything. and then him getting up (with help) and walking around with his shirt untucked, disheveled looking, never to be seen again. that was awesome. and him telling me 4 or 5 times how much he misses me and how i should move to charlotte. gotta love scott siler.
so, at least a 1.5 out of 4 is good. ok, maybe not. so i suck at predictions. but it was an awesome weekend. what i DIDNT predict is that one of my buddies (name not to be mentioned so he doesn't get in trouble) made out with his first asian. (lock it up). and i called all the moves from about a minute or two before they happened. and it was broken up before anything really happened by their drunk roommate walking in eating fritos. and i also didn't call having a slutty blond (3rd girl in the room with the asian and the drunk eating fritos) compliment me on my "perfect nook" (which is apparently the area between your shoulder and chest where a girl lies her head, presumably after sex), and then ask me if i could get us a room so we could "do this." to which i replied, "wow. well, that is forward. forward is good." and then i turned her down, at which point she got pissed. hmmm. let me think about that. i am not drunk enough to make you good looking enough for me to sleep with, and the only thing i want to go home from this wedding with are memories, not mouth herpes and an itchy crotch. oh well. so, no sex for me. the dry spell continues. but also no STDs! so i'd say thats a win for me.
man, we gotta do this more often. what an awesome time. good stories, good memories, and great to see the wake crew again.
"go on and lose it, go on and lose it all"
so lets do the rundown of predictions. what an awesome weekend. it was a beautiful ceremony, scottie and kristin looked great, everything was amazing, and the open bar from 5 until 11:30 helped to fuel a whole lotta fun. lets re-cap:
prediction #1: not so good. travis didn't get really drunk. but i think he had a really good time. he, i, and flowers basically hung out the whole time. which included at 2:00am trip to the sketchiest Denny's I've ever seen in my life the first night. which included this security guard manning the "hostess" post, who had 2 lazy eyes, a limp in his walk, and sounded like he had no idea what "English" was. I'd say he was about 55 years old, nasty grey beard, weathered face, etc. basically a drug addict with a uniform. so yeah, that was awesome. but it was awesome to see travis, and i had a great time. just like old college days. i even tricked him into eating some scrapple sunday morning. i ordered it because i had never had it before, and took a bite. and flowers and t-nuts looked at me and were like "how is it", so i kinda smiled, nodded my head in approval, and was like "travis, you gotta get in on this." so he takes a bite and immediately his facial expression is one of "what the fuck?" and he goes "dude, this is horrible" and i said "i know. its the worst fucking shit i've ever had in my life." oh man, that was awesome.
prediction #2: this didn't really pan out either. nick didn't get super drunk (his girlfriend AND ex-girlfriend were there, which was amusing to watch), and he certainly didn't kiss any dudes that i saw. damn it. it was great to see nick though. still funny as hell, and still does the "giaimo shuffle" on the dance floor. good times.
prediction #3: so, this kinda happened. scottie didn't try to take any chair i was sitting in, but there was a LOT of talk about it from the ex-WOMB (wake frisbee) guys. so at the reception i went up and sat in his chair up on stage (i guess it was kind of like a throne). and then scott came over and was like "what the?" and we fake-wrestled for about half-a-second before he realized there was cake waiting for him at his seat. so then he took a bite of his cake, and i got my congratulatory high-fives and "that was hilarious" comments from all post-wake players. that is the stuff of legends.... or really lame incidents that happened during college of which i'm not too proud. although i guess looking back and laughing about a situation is better than looking back and being pissed and/or embarrassed. so i'll give me a 1/2 on this prediction
prediction #4: ok, so this prediction was the lay-up. kobe! anyone who knows siler KNEW he was going to get way too drunk. which culminated with him falling on the dance floor and spilling beer all over everything. and then him getting up (with help) and walking around with his shirt untucked, disheveled looking, never to be seen again. that was awesome. and him telling me 4 or 5 times how much he misses me and how i should move to charlotte. gotta love scott siler.
so, at least a 1.5 out of 4 is good. ok, maybe not. so i suck at predictions. but it was an awesome weekend. what i DIDNT predict is that one of my buddies (name not to be mentioned so he doesn't get in trouble) made out with his first asian. (lock it up). and i called all the moves from about a minute or two before they happened. and it was broken up before anything really happened by their drunk roommate walking in eating fritos. and i also didn't call having a slutty blond (3rd girl in the room with the asian and the drunk eating fritos) compliment me on my "perfect nook" (which is apparently the area between your shoulder and chest where a girl lies her head, presumably after sex), and then ask me if i could get us a room so we could "do this." to which i replied, "wow. well, that is forward. forward is good." and then i turned her down, at which point she got pissed. hmmm. let me think about that. i am not drunk enough to make you good looking enough for me to sleep with, and the only thing i want to go home from this wedding with are memories, not mouth herpes and an itchy crotch. oh well. so, no sex for me. the dry spell continues. but also no STDs! so i'd say thats a win for me.
man, we gotta do this more often. what an awesome time. good stories, good memories, and great to see the wake crew again.
"go on and lose it, go on and lose it all"
Friday, July 20, 2007
"fast and slow, here we go, on a big chair..."
im about to head to a wedding for one of my college roommates and a guy i played 3 years of college ultimate with (he kinda quit his last year), and im pretty psyched. im going to see basically all of my old college friends. which, of course, lends itself to all kinds of mischief and debaucheries. so what im going to do is predict (here) what's going to go down. and then we'll recap and see what actually DOES happen. and-ah-here we go:
prediction #1: travis "t-nuts" greer gets really drunk. he's got a baby on the way with his wife (yeah, i know. people are getting married and having kids... and im still playing ultimate and video games? nice. nice work, michael). so he's going to want to break out a little, especially since he just finished med school and is now doing his residency. what's that? med school? so that means in a few years he'll be making more money that i'll ever dream about. another high five michael. way to use that wake forest diploma. back to prediction #1. t-nuts gets really drunk and then ends up naked in bed with 2 people. but that will most likely be myself and flowers, since we're all staying in the same room.
prediction #2: nick giaimo gets really drunk and starts kissing dudes. nick was known for his man-love when he had a bit of the sauce, and i imagine that having not seen mike flowers for so long is really, really going to bring this out of him. good thing i'm bringing my camera.
prediction #3: scott abbott (the guy who's getting married) tries to take whatever chair im sitting in at the wedding, and we fight over it. just like freshman year. and also senior year. and im sure a few other years too. i really wanted to get scottie a folding chair for his present, but i already have a gift. oh well. that would be funny.
prediction #4: scott siler gets really drunk (i see a trend here) and does something hilarious. this is a given. well, depending on circumstances. but i'll say this is a lock. maybe hides underneath something. that happened before.
ok, so here we go. lets do this thing. i'll follow up later (not that anyone cares) to see what actually DOES happen.
"we don't know where we're going, on a big chair"
prediction #1: travis "t-nuts" greer gets really drunk. he's got a baby on the way with his wife (yeah, i know. people are getting married and having kids... and im still playing ultimate and video games? nice. nice work, michael). so he's going to want to break out a little, especially since he just finished med school and is now doing his residency. what's that? med school? so that means in a few years he'll be making more money that i'll ever dream about. another high five michael. way to use that wake forest diploma. back to prediction #1. t-nuts gets really drunk and then ends up naked in bed with 2 people. but that will most likely be myself and flowers, since we're all staying in the same room.
prediction #2: nick giaimo gets really drunk and starts kissing dudes. nick was known for his man-love when he had a bit of the sauce, and i imagine that having not seen mike flowers for so long is really, really going to bring this out of him. good thing i'm bringing my camera.
prediction #3: scott abbott (the guy who's getting married) tries to take whatever chair im sitting in at the wedding, and we fight over it. just like freshman year. and also senior year. and im sure a few other years too. i really wanted to get scottie a folding chair for his present, but i already have a gift. oh well. that would be funny.
prediction #4: scott siler gets really drunk (i see a trend here) and does something hilarious. this is a given. well, depending on circumstances. but i'll say this is a lock. maybe hides underneath something. that happened before.
ok, so here we go. lets do this thing. i'll follow up later (not that anyone cares) to see what actually DOES happen.
"we don't know where we're going, on a big chair"
Monday, July 16, 2007
"welcome in, welcome in, a shame about the weather..."
im tired. i should go to bed.
i started recording. i think its going ok. when i say i'm hitting the tip of the ice-shelf, what i mean is that there is so much shit in logic that i would need a year of intense training just to get to maybe 5% of the stuff. which is good and bad. because i have these ideas that i know will be awesome if i hear them, but to get to them will be impossible. so i know what i want, just not how to get it. mirroring life a bit, eh? looks like the joke's on me. zing?
anyways, i'm hoping to post a new song soon. up, online. somewhere. myspace maybe. goddamn kids and their computers. so we'll see. i'll give it a week or two. but seriously, its going to suck. so, don't get any hopes up.
"welcome in, welcome in, you're welcome."
i started recording. i think its going ok. when i say i'm hitting the tip of the ice-shelf, what i mean is that there is so much shit in logic that i would need a year of intense training just to get to maybe 5% of the stuff. which is good and bad. because i have these ideas that i know will be awesome if i hear them, but to get to them will be impossible. so i know what i want, just not how to get it. mirroring life a bit, eh? looks like the joke's on me. zing?
anyways, i'm hoping to post a new song soon. up, online. somewhere. myspace maybe. goddamn kids and their computers. so we'll see. i'll give it a week or two. but seriously, its going to suck. so, don't get any hopes up.
"welcome in, welcome in, you're welcome."
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
"im on the brink of disaster, staring down the consequences"
there are 3 new albums coming out that i'm super psyched for. and yes, nate, you totally know all 3 of them.
im going to give you (and by you i mean the 'nobody' that reads this crap. it just makes me feel good to address the posts this way) the run-down on what im psyched for about these albums. this is secondary to the fact that i need new music BAD. well, not that bad. just burned the new travis from nate, and thats an awesome album. as tall as lions is a pretty good album. and im getting into a few albums that i have that have just been sitting around (newest switchfoot, newerish brand new, newtastic keane, newesque landon pigg). and yes, landon pigg is an unfortunate name. quite possibly the worst name ever, aside from "shithead" pronounced "shi-theed". but i digress...
jimmy eat world - chase this light (middle of september 2007) so, the thing that pisses me off about this is that they don't have any new songs up anywhere. i mean, come on jimmy. give us a little taste. but i still can't wait for this. my hope: take the direction from (songs) futures, 23, kill, polaris. so basically, 23 is one of the greatest songs jimmy eat world has ever written. its up there with 'for me this is heaven' and 'cautioners'. and if they can use that direction, which was kind of backtracking to their "clarity" days in style, to push forward down that road, i feel like this new album could be fucking ridiculous. stop trying to be all 'hard'. yeah, you love the heavy guitars, and most of those songs come across totally kickass live. but you guys are better with harmonies, pianos, and 30 melodic lines running all over the place.
cartel - cartel. (8/21/2007) they have a single "lose it" on their myspace page, and i've been listening to this thing non-stop, only switching over to mae's myspace page to listen to their two songs off their new album. this song is short, but its good. real good. a little more "pop single" than their last album. not that they are getting away from their sound, because its still pretty pop-punk/emo, but i'd say its a little more up-beat than their last album. which is good. its got some pretty sweet mixing choices with background vocals kinda in and out and the sound breaking down and building up where you wouldn't normally expect it. which i am hoping means that the writing has matured a little but kept the core talent these guys have. i'm going to predict they are HUGE this year. not that they aren't already. ok, they're pretty fucking huge. however, i have a feeling they'll be MTV's new poster-children of the emo scene now that joel madden (you know, i don't even know the name of his band, to the point that i have to google it right now...good charlotte. goddamn it) got nicole richie pregnant and the time of a new found glory and simple plan/hoobastank/etc is over. so yeah, these guys should be huge. and they are awesome. and im not 100% convinced on whether them being MTV's poster children is a good or bad thing. good for them because being famous will help them $$-wise. but it may also make them shitty in the long run. so hopefully they don't get too huge. hmmm... maybe i hope this album doesn't go big. shit.
mae - singularity. (8/14/2007) so i am obsessed with "brink of disaster" as you can tell from these lyrics for the title and end of the post. that song is fucking awesome. if i could have written 1 song ever in my lifetime, it would totally be 'for me this is heaven'. or maybe 'evaporated' by ben folds. however, this song is still awesome. and the other song they have up on their myspace page from the album (sometimes i can't make it on my own, or something like that) is pretty awesome as well. i didn't love it the first time i heard it. i liked it. was like "ok, i know you're pushing in a direction, and this is an alright direction to go. just keep it 'mae', mae." but that song grows on you, definiately. so i'm pretty pumped that this album is going to be a keeper. and by keeper i mean in my playlist for the next year or two. and i'm going to see them live with one of my newest favorite bands, as tall as lions. unreal live. opened for copeland and they were sick. so i'm psyched for that.
so thats the rundown. buy these albums if you are reading this and you're not someone who i talk to about this shit all the time. and then save some money for my 'album' whenever we're done with it. or even start it, for that matter. and then we've got to get 11 songs written. which, if you know me, will never happen. what? what's that? is that the sound of depression backing the dump-truck in? nice. time to go cry. but only until these albums come out.
"to break hard would be better, tonight i'll do what it takes to fail"
im going to give you (and by you i mean the 'nobody' that reads this crap. it just makes me feel good to address the posts this way) the run-down on what im psyched for about these albums. this is secondary to the fact that i need new music BAD. well, not that bad. just burned the new travis from nate, and thats an awesome album. as tall as lions is a pretty good album. and im getting into a few albums that i have that have just been sitting around (newest switchfoot, newerish brand new, newtastic keane, newesque landon pigg). and yes, landon pigg is an unfortunate name. quite possibly the worst name ever, aside from "shithead" pronounced "shi-theed". but i digress...
jimmy eat world - chase this light (middle of september 2007) so, the thing that pisses me off about this is that they don't have any new songs up anywhere. i mean, come on jimmy. give us a little taste. but i still can't wait for this. my hope: take the direction from (songs) futures, 23, kill, polaris. so basically, 23 is one of the greatest songs jimmy eat world has ever written. its up there with 'for me this is heaven' and 'cautioners'. and if they can use that direction, which was kind of backtracking to their "clarity" days in style, to push forward down that road, i feel like this new album could be fucking ridiculous. stop trying to be all 'hard'. yeah, you love the heavy guitars, and most of those songs come across totally kickass live. but you guys are better with harmonies, pianos, and 30 melodic lines running all over the place.
cartel - cartel. (8/21/2007) they have a single "lose it" on their myspace page, and i've been listening to this thing non-stop, only switching over to mae's myspace page to listen to their two songs off their new album. this song is short, but its good. real good. a little more "pop single" than their last album. not that they are getting away from their sound, because its still pretty pop-punk/emo, but i'd say its a little more up-beat than their last album. which is good. its got some pretty sweet mixing choices with background vocals kinda in and out and the sound breaking down and building up where you wouldn't normally expect it. which i am hoping means that the writing has matured a little but kept the core talent these guys have. i'm going to predict they are HUGE this year. not that they aren't already. ok, they're pretty fucking huge. however, i have a feeling they'll be MTV's new poster-children of the emo scene now that joel madden (you know, i don't even know the name of his band, to the point that i have to google it right now...good charlotte. goddamn it) got nicole richie pregnant and the time of a new found glory and simple plan/hoobastank/etc is over. so yeah, these guys should be huge. and they are awesome. and im not 100% convinced on whether them being MTV's poster children is a good or bad thing. good for them because being famous will help them $$-wise. but it may also make them shitty in the long run. so hopefully they don't get too huge. hmmm... maybe i hope this album doesn't go big. shit.
mae - singularity. (8/14/2007) so i am obsessed with "brink of disaster" as you can tell from these lyrics for the title and end of the post. that song is fucking awesome. if i could have written 1 song ever in my lifetime, it would totally be 'for me this is heaven'. or maybe 'evaporated' by ben folds. however, this song is still awesome. and the other song they have up on their myspace page from the album (sometimes i can't make it on my own, or something like that) is pretty awesome as well. i didn't love it the first time i heard it. i liked it. was like "ok, i know you're pushing in a direction, and this is an alright direction to go. just keep it 'mae', mae." but that song grows on you, definiately. so i'm pretty pumped that this album is going to be a keeper. and by keeper i mean in my playlist for the next year or two. and i'm going to see them live with one of my newest favorite bands, as tall as lions. unreal live. opened for copeland and they were sick. so i'm psyched for that.
so thats the rundown. buy these albums if you are reading this and you're not someone who i talk to about this shit all the time. and then save some money for my 'album' whenever we're done with it. or even start it, for that matter. and then we've got to get 11 songs written. which, if you know me, will never happen. what? what's that? is that the sound of depression backing the dump-truck in? nice. time to go cry. but only until these albums come out.
"to break hard would be better, tonight i'll do what it takes to fail"
Friday, June 29, 2007
"and when you've found something to die for..."
i'm starting a new virtual band. by "virtual" i mean that i am going to record all the weird shit that i can come up with, and then have mike "guitar god" flowers and nate "bass in your mother f**king face" cameron contribute their musical genious and ideas to these songs. and yes, nate's nickname really has "f**king" in it. because we all know im not afraid to write "fucking". but that's his nickname. gotta stick with the official "*" because i don't want to get sued by his publisher or agent or something. fucking bastards. also, when i said "weird shit" above, what i meant was i could throw layers upon layers of stuff. goodness knows "weird" isn't the right adjective to describe the music that i write.
so the hardest part about this new virtual band is going to be using logic. because i think it'd be an understatement to say that its not-so-intuitive. i mean, i would assume that when person "a" sets up logic, they'll want to have the headphones be a monitor. but in order to make it that way, you have to go through 3 different screens to set UP the monitors, and even then they are extremely washed out. its like, are you serious? what time is it? thats right, amateur hour.
and then once you get all that up and running, you have to use multiple plug-ins just to make the mic sound decent (no hissing, good levels, etc). Now, this could totally be a product of the fact that I have a performing mic, and not a condenser mic, but I find that a little hard to believe.
so i guess all i need to do is open my schedule up enough so that i have some fucking time to record. i dont get home during the week until 9:30 or so every night. wah, wah. yeah, i get it. time to get to work. hopefully that means new songs will be up online once i learn how to mix... so, 9 months? a year? we'll see.
"it can make you face all your fears"
so the hardest part about this new virtual band is going to be using logic. because i think it'd be an understatement to say that its not-so-intuitive. i mean, i would assume that when person "a" sets up logic, they'll want to have the headphones be a monitor. but in order to make it that way, you have to go through 3 different screens to set UP the monitors, and even then they are extremely washed out. its like, are you serious? what time is it? thats right, amateur hour.
and then once you get all that up and running, you have to use multiple plug-ins just to make the mic sound decent (no hissing, good levels, etc). Now, this could totally be a product of the fact that I have a performing mic, and not a condenser mic, but I find that a little hard to believe.
so i guess all i need to do is open my schedule up enough so that i have some fucking time to record. i dont get home during the week until 9:30 or so every night. wah, wah. yeah, i get it. time to get to work. hopefully that means new songs will be up online once i learn how to mix... so, 9 months? a year? we'll see.
"it can make you face all your fears"
Friday, June 22, 2007
"i'm losing all my friends, i'm losing them to drinking and to driving..."
arun quit new noise.
well, i shouldn't say "quit". "taking the season off" is the correct term. however, it feels like he quit. and i think it feels this way because i know all the reasons behind his decision. which, lets be honest, i'd be a total douche if i were to write on here what his reasons where. and since i'm only 50-70% douche, you ain't gonna get those reasons from me. so if you'd like to know those, you should ask him.
however, knowing that there were more reasons to his decision than 'needing time off', i'll say that it boiled down to he wasn't having fun anymore. which is what tends to happen when you are trying to establish your team as a competitive entity. however, it doesn't necessarily have to become not fun. in fact, i'd venture to say that there is nowhere that stipulates that it should be a requirement of being a serious team that it can't be fun. i think a reason that teams become not fun when being serious is because either a lack of organization or identities get lost along the way. like, trying to be something you're not (and that means personally as well as organizationally).
so, what everyone has to remember (myself included) is that everyone on the team is an adult. we all make our own decisions. we all chose to forfeit health, money, time, weekends, etc to play on this team. and we all bust our ass (some more than others, but its pretty even across the board) to be the best we can. i get to the gym 5-7 times a week. this off-season i dropped 13 pounds (how, i have no fucking idea) and got down to 4% body fat (which im around 5-6% as you read this). that wasn't so i could fit into my bikini for the beach. although, lets be honest: i look unfuckingbelievable in the pink one. it was so i could be faster, fitter, leaner, healthier, and stronger for the ultimate season. and this is my choice. not everyone goes to these extremes for the sport, but i made the decision that to get me to be the best player i can, that was something i needed to focus on and do.
and it is very, very easy somewhere along that line to lose sight of the fact that this is supposed to be fun. and when its not fun, its really tough to admit to yourself that something you've spent so much time doing and putting effort into is not worth it anymore. and unfortunately, this happens.
and so what arun did is the mature and honest thing. which is something i totally couldn't do. there are times that i've been so frustrated with certain aspects of ultimate that i've wanted to quit. thought about it. talked about it. but i never could get myself to back away from the sport. now, don't get me wrong. i've never gotten to the point where i'm dying, yet i'm still playing. but i don't know if i'd ever be honest or realistic enough with myself to walk away when that time comes.
i guess we'll find out someday.
"i'm losing all my friends, but i've got them back."
well, i shouldn't say "quit". "taking the season off" is the correct term. however, it feels like he quit. and i think it feels this way because i know all the reasons behind his decision. which, lets be honest, i'd be a total douche if i were to write on here what his reasons where. and since i'm only 50-70% douche, you ain't gonna get those reasons from me. so if you'd like to know those, you should ask him.
however, knowing that there were more reasons to his decision than 'needing time off', i'll say that it boiled down to he wasn't having fun anymore. which is what tends to happen when you are trying to establish your team as a competitive entity. however, it doesn't necessarily have to become not fun. in fact, i'd venture to say that there is nowhere that stipulates that it should be a requirement of being a serious team that it can't be fun. i think a reason that teams become not fun when being serious is because either a lack of organization or identities get lost along the way. like, trying to be something you're not (and that means personally as well as organizationally).
so, what everyone has to remember (myself included) is that everyone on the team is an adult. we all make our own decisions. we all chose to forfeit health, money, time, weekends, etc to play on this team. and we all bust our ass (some more than others, but its pretty even across the board) to be the best we can. i get to the gym 5-7 times a week. this off-season i dropped 13 pounds (how, i have no fucking idea) and got down to 4% body fat (which im around 5-6% as you read this). that wasn't so i could fit into my bikini for the beach. although, lets be honest: i look unfuckingbelievable in the pink one. it was so i could be faster, fitter, leaner, healthier, and stronger for the ultimate season. and this is my choice. not everyone goes to these extremes for the sport, but i made the decision that to get me to be the best player i can, that was something i needed to focus on and do.
and it is very, very easy somewhere along that line to lose sight of the fact that this is supposed to be fun. and when its not fun, its really tough to admit to yourself that something you've spent so much time doing and putting effort into is not worth it anymore. and unfortunately, this happens.
and so what arun did is the mature and honest thing. which is something i totally couldn't do. there are times that i've been so frustrated with certain aspects of ultimate that i've wanted to quit. thought about it. talked about it. but i never could get myself to back away from the sport. now, don't get me wrong. i've never gotten to the point where i'm dying, yet i'm still playing. but i don't know if i'd ever be honest or realistic enough with myself to walk away when that time comes.
i guess we'll find out someday.
"i'm losing all my friends, but i've got them back."
"careful now, you'll hurt yourself..."
so, i want to move. no surprise there. also, no surprise that i started a paragraph (which is more like a stream of conciousness) with the word "so". that tends to happen a lot for me. want to know why? no? well, fuck you. then stop reading. dick. anyways, i think the reason is beacuse i think about things a lot before i say them. and then when i finally come out or write the thoughts down, i approach it with a "so here's what ive been thinking" attitude or a "so, this is what i've come up with". at least, that's how it sounds in my head. but it just falls out onto paper and/or html style sheets as "so". but anyways.
the deal with me wanting to move is that i'm not happy. not happy with boston. not happy with my job. not happy with myself. and i feel that moving is a good way to start over. its also a good way to incur a whole lotta debt. which seems to be about to happen to me, as money and my banking accounts don't seem to be getting along lately. crap.
but where to move to? somewhere close? somewhere where i know people, so as to not be all alone? somewhere where i know nobody so that i can "start a-fresh with nothing holding me down"? well, if i knew that answer i wouldn't be asking the nobody-who-reads-my-blog. damn. i can't do all the work around here.
so it seems to me the options are as follows (with reasons why and why not next to'ye olde pluses and minuses' as they were called back during the gold rush):
california: + beautiful weather, beautiful women, relaxed attitude, everyone tells me i'd fit in and/or look like i'm from there, great ultimate scene, great music scene
- expensive, far away from family/home, don't know anybody out there, i'd miss the fall weather
denver: + beautiful weather, close to the mountains, cheaper than boston, young crowd, pretty good ultimate scene, good music scene, outdoors stuff to do all the time
- kinda expensive, far away from family/home, dno't know anyone out there (although nate, you should come with), tough to get a job i kinda imagine
virginia: + warm weather, good ultimate scene, could buy a place with my little brother, i have friends from college in the area
- not as much of a eutopic destination as, say, CA or CO, humidity, don't have any connections to get a job, if i move south i'd much rather go to somewhere in NC
charlotte: + warm weather, decent ultimate scene, good music scene, have lots of college friends around, cheap cost of living, up-and-coming city
- humidity, tough to get a job down there, far from my family, not so sure i want to do NC again and would like to try some place new
toronto: + awesome city (or so i hear), cheaper than boston, potentional to have a good job, good ultimate scene, very euro
- far from home, don't know anyone up there, cold, no "music scene" to speak of
so yeah, who knows. who the hell knows. i guess the reason the top cities have more +'s and -'s would be that a) im getting tired of writing this post, and b) i know more/fantasize more about going to the first cities more. one things for sure though; my time in boston is coming to an end.
"careful now, you'll hurt someone else."
the deal with me wanting to move is that i'm not happy. not happy with boston. not happy with my job. not happy with myself. and i feel that moving is a good way to start over. its also a good way to incur a whole lotta debt. which seems to be about to happen to me, as money and my banking accounts don't seem to be getting along lately. crap.
but where to move to? somewhere close? somewhere where i know people, so as to not be all alone? somewhere where i know nobody so that i can "start a-fresh with nothing holding me down"? well, if i knew that answer i wouldn't be asking the nobody-who-reads-my-blog. damn. i can't do all the work around here.
so it seems to me the options are as follows (with reasons why and why not next to'ye olde pluses and minuses' as they were called back during the gold rush):
california: + beautiful weather, beautiful women, relaxed attitude, everyone tells me i'd fit in and/or look like i'm from there, great ultimate scene, great music scene
- expensive, far away from family/home, don't know anybody out there, i'd miss the fall weather
denver: + beautiful weather, close to the mountains, cheaper than boston, young crowd, pretty good ultimate scene, good music scene, outdoors stuff to do all the time
- kinda expensive, far away from family/home, dno't know anyone out there (although nate, you should come with), tough to get a job i kinda imagine
virginia: + warm weather, good ultimate scene, could buy a place with my little brother, i have friends from college in the area
- not as much of a eutopic destination as, say, CA or CO, humidity, don't have any connections to get a job, if i move south i'd much rather go to somewhere in NC
charlotte: + warm weather, decent ultimate scene, good music scene, have lots of college friends around, cheap cost of living, up-and-coming city
- humidity, tough to get a job down there, far from my family, not so sure i want to do NC again and would like to try some place new
toronto: + awesome city (or so i hear), cheaper than boston, potentional to have a good job, good ultimate scene, very euro
- far from home, don't know anyone up there, cold, no "music scene" to speak of
so yeah, who knows. who the hell knows. i guess the reason the top cities have more +'s and -'s would be that a) im getting tired of writing this post, and b) i know more/fantasize more about going to the first cities more. one things for sure though; my time in boston is coming to an end.
"careful now, you'll hurt someone else."
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