"its me and the moon she says..."

rocky 6. seriously? number 6? six? VI? good lord, when will it stop?

now, let it be known that i have never seen any rocky movie. not 1, or 2 or the one with mr. t, or the russian, or whatever. i have seen clips of rocky on "i love the 80s" or clicking through tnt during thanksgiving, but thats about it. i also remember in 'space balls' when the news reporter mentions something about rocky 4000. but that is the extent of my rocky experience, except when i tell people ive never seen any of them and they are like "WHAT?!? are you un-american? do you hate freedom?"

so when i complain about rocky 6 right now, its more of a "why are they making the same movie that has already been made a gazillion times before?" and then its a "and why the hell are people STILL going to see this movie? are they retarded?" and then i think "no, that cant be. retarded people are smarter than that." why in the hell are they making a rocky 6? seriously.

and whats worse? yup, you guessed it. rambo 4. say whaaaaat?!?!? sly stallone, 59 years young, doing BOTH a new rocky AND a new stallone? dude, seriously. i had my fill of old used-to-be-jacked actors who now look fat and have spare tires around their stomachs doing remakes of their used-to-be popular 70s and 80s action movies when the governator did terminator 3. notice how when he came back from the future in that movie, they shot him "naked" from the mid torso up? its cuz he's fat. and i cannot imagine that sly is going to be much better. i mean, im sure he keeps in great shape. but to be taking on whole armies by himself kicking 60? and boxing? dude... osteoperosis is setting in and he's probably got to use a walker to get into the ring.

but honestly. rambo 4? a buddy of mine the other day was like "huh, the 3 amigos [yes, the steve martin, chevy chase, martin short movie -- TOTALLY awesome, by the way] was a great movie. i wonder why they didnt make a sequel to it". and my response was simple. "probably because they didnt want to ruin a good movie by making a shitty sequel". and i think the hollywood execs should take this to heart. but they wont do that until they stop making money on these shitty sequels. and that means there must be no demand. which means all you assholes going to see "ring 2" and fucking "goonies 8" and "scary movie 35" need to stop going to see shitty remakes. and then this world will be a better place.

now, dont get me wrong; im not saying there shouldnt be movies with others attached to them. like trilogies. lord of the rings, indiana jones, etc. those are awesome. im talking about any movie with "2" or "3" in the title. stop that shit. its up to us people; so check yourself before you wreck yourself. word.

"and ive got no trouble with that."

"ahhh california in the summer..."

i love cartoons. which is kind of weird because as of about 3 years ago i never watched cartoons. ever. i would watch sports and movies and thats about it. lots of sportscenter. hmmm... come to think of it, i cant really think of much tv i watched during my senior year at college. and thats either because i didnt watch much or i was drunk a lot of that time.

but now that im out in the 'real world' and am working, pay bills, rent, etc. you know. what real grown ups do. now that im here, i watch more cartoons than i ever did when i was 8 years old.

but im not talking about saturday morning cartoons. dude, i dont wake up until noon on saturdays at the earliest. that is, unless im out doing something like an ultimate tournament or travelling or something. im talking about 3 cartoons in particular.

south park: i just read that they have started their 9th season, and have signed on for 3 more. i watched it during its first and second seasons, and then when it started sucking [seasons 4-6/7] i really didnt watch it at all. and now that its frickin' hilarious again, i thoroughly enjoy it. cartman has to be the funniest single cartoon character ever created. of all time. fact. the shit that comes out of his mouth is so racist, sexist and offensive its perfect. easily the star of the show, and i love watching it.

family guy: there is nothing that i need to say about this show. everyone knows this is the funniest show on tv. this is the cartoon that got me back into cartoons when a buddy of mine bought the first and second season on dvd the summer after my senior year in college [shout out to doozy for this one] and we watched them all at camp that summer. i had never heard of it before, and it was the best thing that could have ever happened to me cartoon-watching-wise. i mean, i could have won the lottery. that would have kicked ass and been better in an "over-all" sense of what is good for me. but it wouldnt have allowed me to gloriously rediscovered cartoons. so, hooray for family guy.

aqua teen hunger force: the best cartoon on tv. the crime is that most people dont know about it. in fact, im watching it right now. the one with the rainbow and the 3 leprechans [1 irish, 1 american, and 1 gay one]. the humor of athf is so particular and subtle that im sure its tough for some to get into. carl is so frickin' awesome. and meatwad is hilarious. i just read that aqua teen is getting better ratings than both leno AND letterman, and now huge corporations are looking at them for commercial time. coolest news about aqhf? they are making a movie right now. hell yeah. 2006, i cant wait. you should watch it though. its on adultswim [cartoon network, around midnight on wednesdays... maybe more weeknights, but i juts know its wednesday tonight].

whats the moral of this story? cartoons kick ass. number 1 in the hood, g.

"ahhh, and my hair is growing long."

"the only thing worse than not knowing..."

lets talk about a subject that is applicable every single day of everyone's life: history of behavior. or, if youre british: history of behaviour. either way. british or not, people have certain habits and/or decisions they make on a consistent basis with which you can predict future behavior or verify past behavioral discrepancies. when 'they' say "people cant change", that is probably about 99.9836% true. people dont change. some people are good at suppressing their inner desires for an extended period of time, but eventually they "have a relapse" or they "give in to their inner demons" or they "eat 100 snickers and barf all over themselves" or they "tripped and fell on his penis"; you know, the usual wednesday afternoon activities.

***side note: i love sante fe black bean chedder dip. and hint-of-lime tostitos. they are delicious. yumma-dum-dumms.***

and this pertains to all behavior in general. spoiled-brat behavior, catty behavior, drunken behavior, common-sense behavior [or lack there-of], competitive behavior, lazy behavior... you know, everything.

what i thought i was going to do is take certain examples from people i have witnessed and show how they have not, and more importantly will not, change their behavior. in retrospect, this would take way too much time and energy that i dont have. im busy, and have a life. i could have talked 'hypothetically' about certain behaviors and examples, naming them things like "person j", "person k", and "person l" and then talked about how what they do is either immature, hypocritical, hilarious, pathetic, or just plain redonkulous. that is a word. and i'd throw little hints in there as to who the real person was. and eventually that person [if they read my blog] or someone else would figure out who these hypothetical people were, and then they'd get all pissed off that i was talking shit about them. even if this shit was 100% true and totally founded. and backed by really good, and really factual evidence. and then they'd try and make me feel bad. and then i'd probably feel bad cuz i hate upsetting other people no matter how big of an asshole/bitch they are to me or those i care about. and i dont like feeling bad. i like being happy.

and how do i know this? well, its just what i do. its what ive done in the past and what im predisposed to doing in the future. and i'll spare everyone the "Wilhelm Wundt, William James, and B.F. Skinner" version of human behavior [think fathers of psychology]; but my point is that if you were to think about what i'd do in this blog when talking about something, its pretty well laid out up there [arrow pointing to paragraph above] . but i am changing my behavior. and not writing in that fashion. or at least, im trying like a mofo not to break down and start. god knows there is a 99.9836% chance the next entry is back to the usual format. but for now...

"...is you thinking that i dont know"

"if i could open my arms..."

so yeah. im trying to give this posting thing another breath of life. which means more than one post every other month.

im getting old. my little brother just turned 23 yesterday. my little brother just turned 23. shit. that means im getting OLD. good lord, when does it end? it doesnt. well, death. and that just means that everyone else i know is getting older too. and what do you get with age? taxes, bills, and responsibility.

and you know what the worst part of all that is? the assholes that feel that they dont have to take care of their responsibilities. like they are too important or priveledged to be "bothered" with adult responsibilities. this attitude that they are above such things when, in fact, they are too immature and low-class to be responsible for their own actions. and i really cannot stand that. if you want to be grown up and live on your own, and talk like you "know how the world works" and laugh at all those who "just dont know what real life or class or style" is [i.e. all the people you think you are 'better' than], then you really should be able to pay your own rent. same goes for those people that cant pay others back for money they borrow. if you cant afford to do something dont do it. this is the reason i refused to get a credit card for years. its called my good buddy "reality". welcome to it, boys and girls. time to grow the fuck up.

so if you cant go on that shopping spree to buy shit that you dont look good in anyway, or if you cant go on trips or buy plane tickets to events or whatnot, or you cant go buy those 50 cd's youve really, really wanted for 8 months, or you cant go out clubbing cuz you dont have money for drinks and/or admission, here's how us grown-ups do it: take care of your responsibilities first [rent, phone bills, paying back money borrowed, student loans, car payments, etc]. and then if you have the ability to do other things after that, then you do what you want.

a step up on this is when these same people are still under their parents' wings. and by "wings" i mean "checkbook". and then get in situations like this because they are either a) too lazy to have their parents pay for shit, b) too immature to take said money given to them by their parents to pay off their bills, or c) too selfish and spoiled and figure people will either wait on them and dont care that they owe them money or that their parents will just send them more money. unreal. people like this should be shot. or kicked out of multiple apartments.

and the FINAL step up into immaturity [i say step "up" because it actually takes effort to be this lame] are those people that actually run away from their problems. for example, lets say i owed someone money. and they tried to get in touch with me. and i would not answer phonecalls, emails, messages, messages to friends, messages to parents, messages to dead relatives, etc. that is the top level of first-grade, trailer-park, spoiled-brat rediculousness. unreal.

what should happen in these situations? here's my suggestion: i endorse the ADP. thats the Adult Diaper Plan. and i dont capitalize shit on these things, so you know this is serious. i think all those people that cant keep up on their responsibilities should be made to wear adult diapers [trust me, some of these are going to be BIG diapers] until they get their shit inline. that way, when they try to shit and piss on everyone else, they really shit and piss on themselves. and there is some protection for the rest of us. and you know they are going to soil themselves.

here's the point: if you want talk/act/think of yourself as grown up, then you must actually BE grown up. if you dont want to be responsible for your actions, thats fine. go live at home with your parents and shut the fuck up. especially if you have nothing constructive to say. then, when youve graduated to real underwear, you can come out and play with the rest of us adults. until then, safety locks on everything. peace, bitches.

"...and span the length of the isle of manhattan"