so one of these things that really pisses me off is people that cant drive. one side note -- insurance is more expensive for guys under 25 than it is for girls under 25, and my attitude has always been "fuck that shit. why? is it cuz we drive while they drive, put on makeup, talk on their cellphones, and watch 'friends' at the same time [yeah, thats right. only girls watch 'friends']. why the hell do we pay more?" and just recently i realized why guys pay more for insurance. we are SO much more aggressive on the road. i saw some dude almost take out a group of children so he could run a red light and get into the wendy's drive-through quicker because he thought the $1 menu was closing. as hard as that is to admit, guys will get into more accidents because they do more stupid shit in cars. so, that one [in my mind] is solved. its not about who's a better driver, but who takes more risks. way to go fellas. we're up 1 to nothing. on another side note, im not even going to touch on the whole stereotype of "women cant drive, asians cant drive, and asian women really, really cant fucking drive". i am not opening up that can of worms...... although its true. what?
who said that? im kidding. relax. anywho, this morning im driving to work, and first off there are 1.8 billion fucking idiots on the streets this morning. was there a "free coffee for idiots who drive here and hit 6 people on the way" day at dunkin' deeznuts this morning? geezus. so im on a one-lane road, but there's enough space to pass if someone were, lets say, turning left and had to wait for on-coming traffic. so there's a car thats turning left. and had to wait [because of on-coming traffic, no less]. and i am 2 cars back. the car directly behind "captain turning" is, of course, an SUV. im gonna need another paragraph for this:
so, there is plenty of room for this SUV to pass the car turning left. in fact, this SUV [i think it was a Honda so we're not talking a huge SUV] had more than 2 feet on the driver's side, and probably a foot and a half on the passenger's side to pass this car. yet this SUV slows down. and stops. and doesnt pass. now, lets suppose that there is not enough space for this SUV to pass around the right. what, pray-tell, is hindering its movement? oh, well, there is the 3-inch curb. that thing looks WICKED. well, wait. that cant be it. cuz this is an SUV. with like, an 8000-inch clearance. so, it must be the fact that to the right [not-pavement-side] of the curb is all this glass and nails and broken shit that could puncture a tire, right? no, no wait. all i can see is soft, plush if you will, grass. huh. so, wait. lemme get this straight. this person [which, by the way, i dont think sex has anything to do with this situation but it was a woman] owns a fucking SUV, a vehicle designed for sports-utility [i.e. the ability to go off-road and traverse through rough shit] yet will not steer her inefficient gas-guzzling piece-of-shit around a car turning because she's afraid she might hit a 3-inch fucking curb? and maybe, if things got really out of hand and she lost control of this 15-mph-at-best situation, some lovely grass?!??!? good lord, people. what the hell is wrong with you? if youre gonna drive like a pussy*, then drive a pussy* car. get a yugo. or a new beetle. if you want to stop traffic and cause 30 [seriously] cars to have to stop as well, at least have an excuse of owning a car that couldnt even feign moving around a turning vehicle. i mean, honestly. come on.
*i apologize if this word offends anyone. i thought about the best way to express this idea and went through a plethora of synonyms, but unfortunately the word that best described the situation was this one. im sure you understand. if not, get over it pussies.
"well he just drove off, sometimes life's ok."
2 comments:
Dunkin Donuts Coffee sucks. Try Peet's now THAT's some coffee.
-M
Chicks do watch Friends... and pussies* want to be Ross. What who said that? "Zing"
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