everybody goes through fads. be that fashion, activities, philosophical agendas, personalities, etc. well folks, i am sorry to have to admit this to everyone, but its a necessity: fads are gay. hahaha, just kidding. but this brings up another point. point 1a: i cant STAND people that use the word "gay" to imply 'worse than' or 'bad' or something negative. this frat-boy mentality that things that arent "cool" are "gay" and that if you dont agree with them or if youre not in their frat/club/group/gang/dance team/synchronized swimming team you are a 'fag' and youre gonna get served. people that make comments [and are serious about it, mind you] like "man, that is so gay" need to a) grow up, b) extent their vocabulary to ammend such statements into "man, that is so egregious" or "man, that is so insidious" or c) go to hell. which is probably the easiest thing for them to do. see you in hell.
anyway, back to my point about fads; everyone goes through them. and right now i am in the midst of one that is terrorizing everything i do. everytime i think, act, speak, move, etc, this fad is changing my life. my friends tried this at college sometimes, and of course it never held on for more than a day or a week or so. but alas, this does not stop me from trying. this fad?
i am trying to stop from speaking profanity. yeah, i know. me not cussing? oh, and yes. i call it "cussing" and not "cursing" or "swearing" or whatever else the fuck you want to call it. oh wait, whats that? did i just say fuck? hell no i didnt say it. i wrote it. and there's a big difference. i am trying to stop speaking profanity. i said nothing about writing it. so these babies [the blog posts] are fair fuckin' game.
so coupled with this attempt to stop using a 4-letter vocabulary is my new-found love [or fad, if you will] of a substitute word. "effin". its awesome. you can use it for anything. like, "effin a, dude". or "what the eff is that all about?" or even "i was so effed up last night i must have effin thrown up all over the effin place." thats one for you college kids out there. and its addictive. i now say "effin" even when i wouldnt have said "fucking" in my b.c. life [before cleanliness... not that im really clean, but you get the idea]. its like i have to keep punching it in anywhere it can go just so that it will work its way into my regular vocabulary and push out its more common and badass cousin. in fact, i am leading the development for our company's monthly newsletter. and one of the sections i have named is the "Financial News Alert" or FNA, aka "effin a". one of my more recent works of genius, if i do say so myself. my boss laughed for maybe 3 minutes straight. we have a pool going around the office to see who's the first person on our list of customers and contacts to pick up on this acronym and how long it will go unnoticed. point is, this effin word is getting over-used and out-played.
and just like anything that gets over-used and/or out-played [think, radio singles. you know, any good song you liked that made it big and then you hated. and then 14 year old girls started to like it. but only because the lead singer was cute/hot/their idol/such a strong role-model for women/the latest poster in their "teen beat" magazine] the word "effin" is getting old. and fast. so, like all fads, this one must come to an end. and effin soon. no, strike that; fucking soon. in fact, i bet by the time this post is actually posted my attempt to not cuss is going to be done. i will have cracked. actually, i know i have because this douchebag and his bitch-ass buddy almost hit me in my car last night, and they were on a bicycle. riding it all "ghetto-we-cant-afford-two-bikes-so-you-ride-on-the-handle-bars-while-i-stare-at-your-ass-instead-of-watching-the-road" style. and down a one-way street, the wrong fucking way. what a piece of shit. and so as he passed me and almost hit the person following me, i said at him [but not that he could hear b/c my windows were closed and the AC was crankin'] "what the FUCK are you doing?!?" and it was worth it. it was totally worth it.
well, that was fast. goodbye effin. i will remember you once a month when my newsletter is sent to 5000 CEOs, CIOs, CTOs, Sales Managers, Sales teams, and lots of other financial business types. you will always have a place in my heart. effin a.
"to me they all just look like stars"
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2 comments:
Dude, you're such a hypocrit with the whole "gay" thing in the first paragraph. I hear you use that shit all the time. Its okay that I use it because I am gay, but you're not. I actually turned gay so I could use it in reference to something be "stupid" or "retarded" or "not cool". Hahaha....this post is gay (remember, its cool, cause I am gay).
dude, you're gay.
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