"i'm losing all my friends, i'm losing them to drinking and to driving..."

arun quit new noise.

well, i shouldn't say "quit". "taking the season off" is the correct term. however, it feels like he quit. and i think it feels this way because i know all the reasons behind his decision. which, lets be honest, i'd be a total douche if i were to write on here what his reasons where. and since i'm only 50-70% douche, you ain't gonna get those reasons from me. so if you'd like to know those, you should ask him.

however, knowing that there were more reasons to his decision than 'needing time off', i'll say that it boiled down to he wasn't having fun anymore. which is what tends to happen when you are trying to establish your team as a competitive entity. however, it doesn't necessarily have to become not fun. in fact, i'd venture to say that there is nowhere that stipulates that it should be a requirement of being a serious team that it can't be fun. i think a reason that teams become not fun when being serious is because either a lack of organization or identities get lost along the way. like, trying to be something you're not (and that means personally as well as organizationally).

so, what everyone has to remember (myself included) is that everyone on the team is an adult. we all make our own decisions. we all chose to forfeit health, money, time, weekends, etc to play on this team. and we all bust our ass (some more than others, but its pretty even across the board) to be the best we can. i get to the gym 5-7 times a week. this off-season i dropped 13 pounds (how, i have no fucking idea) and got down to 4% body fat (which im around 5-6% as you read this). that wasn't so i could fit into my bikini for the beach. although, lets be honest: i look unfuckingbelievable in the pink one. it was so i could be faster, fitter, leaner, healthier, and stronger for the ultimate season. and this is my choice. not everyone goes to these extremes for the sport, but i made the decision that to get me to be the best player i can, that was something i needed to focus on and do.

and it is very, very easy somewhere along that line to lose sight of the fact that this is supposed to be fun. and when its not fun, its really tough to admit to yourself that something you've spent so much time doing and putting effort into is not worth it anymore. and unfortunately, this happens.

and so what arun did is the mature and honest thing. which is something i totally couldn't do. there are times that i've been so frustrated with certain aspects of ultimate that i've wanted to quit. thought about it. talked about it. but i never could get myself to back away from the sport. now, don't get me wrong. i've never gotten to the point where i'm dying, yet i'm still playing. but i don't know if i'd ever be honest or realistic enough with myself to walk away when that time comes.

i guess we'll find out someday.

"i'm losing all my friends, but i've got them back."